First acceptances are in for the 2006 Magic Millions race day. The inevitable press releases have gone out and the news sites have duly covered the fact that a record number of horses have been entered (781). As I waded through the entries this evening I suddenly wondered if I could put a different spin on the subject (there's only so much you can say about trainers, State representation, and sire lines after all).
The task was as follows - analyse the 187 named 2yo's nommed for the $1m Conrad MM 2YO Classic ... and construct a short story using as many of the names as possible. (Names to appear in CAPS.)
Here's what I came up with:
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Our scene is set – a
CHAMPAGNEBAR, the oddly named
BLAZING STUMP, ten miles from the
CITY LIGHTS of
CHURCHILL DOWNS. An
ASSERTIVE SWINGING BACHELOR – Bob - was
OBSESSED WITH ELLA, a
BUSTY albeit
OVERWORKED (some whispered ‘
FRIGID’) lady from the suburbs. She had
FIRSTCLASS HONOURS from college;
SOCIAL STYLE from Vogue. She was actually
THE GIRLFRIEND of the local
SUPERINTENDENT, someone who,
I DO BELIEVE, an
IRISH MYTH stated had, when confronted with a kitten falling from a tree, had made a
FEARLESS LEAP across a blazing vehicle to
CATCHIT.
“
MIRROR MIRROR …” intoned Ella as she gazed upon her reflection. Her dress this evening had indeed been a rather
CHEEKY CHOICE. It had also
COSTATOOMUCH. The
SUPERINTENDENT was a tad
MISERLY. “He seems to
FORGET IM A LADY” she grumbled to herself. “The
BIG JOKER.”
She gave an indignant
SNORT and signaled to the barman. “
GOLD EDITION” she said “Make sure it’s
COSTLY and order my favorite cocktail - a
RASBERRY LICORICE for my friend – the
CHICKEN BOB over there who has
FOOLED no-one with his dreams of
KNIGHTHOODS and a hope to engage me in a
TWIST CONTEST. He’s so not
MYCUPPATEA.”
“Ah, it’s
UNINTENTIONAL” soothed the bar tender (a mate of Bob’s). “Just remember Ella – it’s a
WONDERFUL WORLD.”
Her face broke into a delighted smile as she included a rendition of the
STRAINED LYRICS INTHEMIX she was already humming.
“
SIMPLY FANTASTIC,” remarked Bob from across the bar. “It seems as if you came
TOTALLY PREPARED.” He
NOTICED how
ORGANISED she seemed but still yearned to
ADVISE; a
FOREWARNING perhaps that
COUNTLESS DREAMS had been lost – mere
FOOTSTEPSINTHESNOW – when people had that
TWINKLE in their eye as they tried to
REDEFINE their career.
“
WHAT'S THE TIME?” Ella asked suddenly, giving a
SIGNAL to the barman that she needed the bill,
INCLUDING any
UNINTENTIONAL tips she may have agreed to in her
INTOXICAT state. She had, after all had a smidgen of
ZYZXX 2C before she came out this evening.
“You’ll be pleased by this – a
SPECIAL OFFER,” he said, passing her the bill.
“
PRICEY all the same.”
She could
ALLUDE to the fact that the prices were on the high side all she liked. He remained
MUTE. Word on the street was that this girl had a
SUPER SAVINGS policy anyway.
She waved her
PINKY at him. “It’s over to the
SUPERINTENDENT FOR ACTION” she said sternly.
And so the night ended at the
CHAMPAGNEBAR, the oddly named
BLAZING STUMP, ten miles from the
CITY LIGHTS of
CHURCHILL DOWNS.
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